Just call me Cow Patty.

I love routine.... I'm happy when every day is the same with no mishaps or disasters. And I always take for granted that when I have to be away from home for a little while, I will return to find everything just as it was when I left.
Not anymore.
Sunday morning started out like any other- I woke up early and took Lily outside while Hubby fed the animals; we ate breakfast, then got ready for Sunday meetin' and we left.
While we were gone, we had some visitors.
Of the bovine kind.

Flashback to last summer:
Early one June morning, Hubby had left for work and I was settling in to my daily routine when I heard Smokey barking and going nuts. I looked out the back window but saw nothing that seemed out of place.
I went to the side windows- once again, nothing out of the ordinary.
Then I went to the front window, and saw 10 or 12 cows in the front yard,  meandering their way up to the porch.
To say I freaked out is an understatement.
I called Hubby and frantically asked him if he knew why on earth a herd of cows would be in our front yard and where in the world they came from. He had an idea they had probably escaped from the farm across the road from us, which is heavily wooded and hidden from view.
By this time, they were making their way across the yard and I knew if the sheep saw them, it would be a disaster. I ran outside, (still in my robe, a lovely sight) hopped on the four-wheeler and started playing cowgirl. I succeeded in scaring them back down the hill, but I had a new problem- now they were running down the middle of the road. While not uncommon to see a cow out in the road in a rural area like this, it is highly unlikely you will see a whole herd of them making a break for it. Thankfully about this same time, a police car came down the road and slowed to see what was happening. He stopped to see if I needed help getting my cows put up (I'm still in my robe, remember...) to which I quickly explained they were NOT mine, but were on the loose and I had no idea whose cows they were. He said he thought he might have an idea who they belonged to and called for backup.
(Backup? *squeal* At this point I'm living my fantasy of being in a police drama. In my robe.)
He said this man's cows were notorious for getting out, and they had taken several calls on them being in people yards and gardens in the weeks leading up to this, and to make matters worse, the man didn't even live close by, he was only leasing the property and actually lived in another town.
Veeery nice to know.
The cows were herded back to their home without incident, and the details of that crazy morning were soon forgotten.

Fast forward back to Sunday:
Sunday was shaping up to be a rainy and stormy day... quite a bit of rain had fallen by the time we headed home from church. As we came up the driveway, we noticed a strange sight: large clumps of mud and sod had washed down the hill and onto the concrete. Then, as we pulled up to the house, we saw the worst of it.
Holes. All over the front yard. Some about the size of your hand, some even bigger. In the grass and all in the mulch and to beat it all, even a large set of muddy hoof prints walking through the carport.
It took a minute for us to compute what we were seeing, and then we both said the same word at the same time.
Large cows. Several large cows.
In other words, the Flank-steak Gang had once again escaped and stopped in for a visit, this time with no crazy woman on a four-wheeler (in her bathrobe) to run them off.
The ground was soft and mushy from all the rain, and the hooves from these 1000-plus pound animals had sunk into the ground 4 or 5 inches in some places.
If that wasn't bad enough, they took it upon themselves to fertilize these large holes for us.
We were able to track down the man who owns the cows and found out that he had been informed that they were out again. He was nice enough to come and survey the damage, and although he acted only mildly concerned, he agreed to get some topsoil for us to fill the holes. Needless to say, we have a lot of yard work in our future before mowing season starts.... now I just have to find a place for all these cow patties.
Fertilizer, anyone?


  1. Yo, Patty! :D Said man should have offered you topsoil and some labor to apply it and put it back like it was. This man has a very casual attitude considering the damage done by his cows. One of those cows might have paid the damage done in the way of ribeyes, T-bones, and filet. His loose herd might start dwindling if he remains so casual :O
    Texas beef lover, Debbie

  2. PS.....that Lili is just so cute.

  3. I am with Debbie on this one, just get paid with a whole side of beef and call it a day. OH! I have such a visual... no wait... this is too funny..... you on 4 wheeler in a robe hurding cows... Too funny...

    You must teach Lily to be a hurding dog so this does not happen again.

    Oh, you mention if the sheep saw them, what will sheep do if they see the cows?

    Hope your day is uneventful.

  4. Don't ya just LOVE folks who don't properly take care of their animals?

    We have a neighbor across the field who "collects dogs" then they end up at our house causing chaos!

    Sorry for your mess, but what a funny story!

  5. Wish we'd had a video of you in your robe zooming around on your 4-wheeler! funny story, Paula!

    I agree - a side of beef and some topsoil would have been a better payment! Hate you got all those holes in your yard. It might take awhile to get the yard all smooth again...

    Thanks for sharing this story!!! Made my morning!

  6. What a funny story to read first thing in the morning! And I agree with the other comments, you should get a freezer full of beef for your trouble~:0)

  7. Talk about an adventure, Paula! WOW! I would've died to be seen by anyone in my robe...NO THANK YOU! Of course, you really didn't have much of a choice, huh? Sure hope that man follows up with what he said he'd do...and makes sure his cows don't break loose, again!

  8. LOL...I can't get the image of you in your robe and on a 4 wheeler out of my mind:D I hope he finds away to contain the cows soon though, as it sounds like they are causing major damage and headaches for all involved, and I'm sure the police have more important things to tend to than loose cows:)Hope they stay put from now on and you can rest while in your robe, not round up cattle;)

  9. Paula this story had me laughing this morning. Sounds like this guy needs to fix his fences so these cows can't keep up visiting the neighbors!

  10. Funny story! Mr. Cow owner should offer to also fill in the holes, I hope whatever he does, it is to your satisfaction. His cows shouldn't be causing trouble at your place!

  11. That is hilarious!---at least from where I sit! I hope your holes get filled in quickly. Of course, some of the patches of grass will be greener than others, lol. Nicely written, Paula. I still say you should submit to a magazine!

  12. Wow! That had to be a very unwelcome sight! Huge holes and cow patties! I would make him fill the holes up and pooper scoop the rest, lol!

  13. Paula, I am so sorry you are having issues with the neighbor's cows. It is rough when you have a neighbor who doesn't keep his livestock In their fences. I hope he follows through and helps you get your yard back in shape. Maybe you and your hubby should fill the freezer with beef. (grin) I am sure he would take notice if any cows came up missing. Hey! Maybe you can have a neighborhood bar-be-que. LOL Take care, honey. I hope the cows stay in this week.

  14. Oh, Paula, I'm so sorry the cows got out and damaged your yard. I know what a mess it is and what a problem trying to fix it.
    We've had cows and horses get out and tear up our lawn, too. Those big animals sure can do a lot of damage.
    I sure hope things will get worked out. With the rain, that just made the animals hoofs go deeper into the soil.
    I'm sorry.

  15. Oh, I remember last years story but I never get tired of hearing it again. It makes me laugh every time! So sorry about the yard. I bet Lily thought she was being invaded.
    I agree, man I love my little rut.

  16. So sorry your yard must be a mess...more ways than one..lolol..but you must admit your dilema is kinda funny ! ! ! I would love to have seen you herding cattle on a 4 wheeler in your robe...laughing just thinking about it.....

  17. I sure had to laugh about the cop and nightgown.
    I do think that you should be reward for the work you are going to have to do. Steak YUM
    Have a nice day.

  18. Oh my word girl you are hilarious!!!!! I know the situation wasn't funny but the story had me rolling...I would have died if anyone had seen me on a four wheeler in my robe! lol lol I loved this...I just found you thru Mel and I am so glad I did..gonna add you to my blog list so I can find my way back...thanks for the laugh! Picket

  19. Yippe tie oh tie yeah, Cow Patty! an old song...... I want to be a cowgirl's sweetheart. I want to rope and ride all day.....
    Anyway, you brought images to my mind that you don't even want to know about! No wonder James loves you! You are a laugh riot! And I thought we had problems because our neighbors dogs come over here to taunt ours. Just a suggestion, but I would want that cow poop away from my garden and yard. Cows eat almost anything that grows and it- patty - just spreads the seeds all over. Patty needs to be sterilized! Sorry-couldn't help myself.
    You keep this up and the Grit is going to contact you to write for them!
    Big love,
    BTW~I would at least expect some good burger if not steaks!

  20. Oh no Paula! I know the situation wasnt funny itself, but you sure made it a funny story!!
    You are pretty talented...cowherder and starring in a police drama...in your robe! Are you sure that ribe isn't a superhero cape :)

  21. Thanks.. I sure needed to grin today :)
    Hope you can get a deep discount on that beef for the freezer :)
    p.s We a kindred spirits....cause I too like when life sails along without any mishaps or disasters !
    Boring is just great with me !!

  22. Paula, I have ONE word for you ...
    COMPOST. You have the makings of it there, so turn your cow patties into GOLD! Lucky you!

  23. Oh my Paula, I want to thank you for the great laugh this morning. I know it was not funny for you at the time but it is so cute. I can only imagine a crazy bathrobe wearing lady on her four wheeler chasing a heard of cows down the street! Rural life is so exciting!! Blessings

  24. Well Patty I feel so disheartened that you not only have to deal with this farmers nonchalant and half hearted farmers cows but his attitude as well ....I am happy though that the cows are back in the barn and noone was hurt or nothing else was damaged .....Good to see you again ...... Have a blessed day !!!

  25. OOOPS !!! The cows may be nonchalant but are not half hearted ,however their owner is both !!

  26. Bless your heart. It is hard when owners of animals do not step up to their responsibilities. Our big problem.....way out here.......are dogs. People just let them out to run and they run far and always find our place. They either kill my chickens are scare my cats to death. When confronting owners......I've been told (by the owners themselves....) to just pepper their dogs with a shotgun!!! and just recently I was thanked by a lady who thought that I had taken her dog to the pound.......which I had'nt. Sigh. Hope you get your yard back into shape soon. blessings,Kathleen

  27. Since I am in my bathrobe right now, comfortably seated in front of my computer, I am laughing and find this story hilarious! Thank-you for the laughs~ However, I do realize you might not find this quite so funny since you have to fix your front yard..however,I am a lady who frequently dons mud boots over my soft slippers and feeds my sheep & chickens in my pajamas, gathers eggs in the jacket pockets of the coat I don over my pajamas and sometimes robe too ( depending on how cold it is ).

    Maybe the owner of the cattle might consider some of the flank steak gang will actually become flank steak in the freezer ( YOURS!) if he does not get his act together and fix his fences.

    Anyway, you make me laugh,I am still picturing you in your robe meeting with the police and helping with the round-up of the rampaging and vandalizing bovines. Thank-you!

  28. Great story.....those darn cows....they do sometimes get out no matter how good the fence! Some cows are like escape artists--those are the ones you want to get rid of!! Hope you are doing well...come say hi!!

  29. We have a sayin' 'round the Pondersoa...if ya have cows sooner or later there gonna get out. This seems to happen when Hubs is at work and I'm the one to fly outta here to get~er~done.

    Honey, I feel sorry for ya about your yard. Ours have been attacked numerous time by ours and the neighbors.

    I just have to laugh since my blog is called Cow Patty Surprise...there is a story behind the name! Heeehehehe!!!!

    God bless ya and have an amazin' day sweetie!!!

    Giveaway...my place!

  30. I love chasing cows and steeping in patties. Not really. B

  31. just found your blog.....i would kill for your kitchen!

  32. Oh boy. I know how much damage one Arabian gelding can do to a mushy yard as he flies around looking for a way to get back to his Arab mares that he just left in the pasture. Can only imagine the damage from a cow herd... Oh the joys of living in the country...

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today! You made me chuckle with visions of you on a 4-wheeler in your robe!

  33. The same thing happened to me a few years back. The owner paid for the damages, but I still had to fill the holes. It is a lot of work to fill the holes and smooth everything back out to mow. He should have offered some help to fill the holes.

  34. Oh..you poor dear..
    How frustrating... It's good that you are both up to the challenge..lol..
    Take care, dear...

  35. I love this story, you told it so cute and funny. I can just picture it.
    One night close to the house in Utah I was living in, a cow got out on the highway and a man hit it and killed not only the cow but the driver too. It was awful.

  36. How terrible Paula. I'm so sorry. Just like you two need something else to take care of. I hope the guy does the right thing.

  37. I bet he'd pay attention if one of his cows went missing and ended up in your freezer! Possession being 9/10's of the law and all that...
    I've been caught in my nightgown and *shawl*...no robe!...so many times, I'm practically immune to the stares. One good ole boy took a spit, looked me up and down and said, "hey, don't bother me none you being in your nightie and all." Might as well laugh, after all, I AM on my own property!


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